From the lineup to the night itself, Phoebe Pascoe outlines her predictions for this year’s event

The most stressful day of the year at Trinity is looming. No, exams haven’t snuck up on you: tickets for Trinity Ball are going on sale. Crashing websites, audible screams in lectures and BESS students demanding your first born child in exchange for a ticket are all par for the course. It’s the biggest private party in Europe, after all, and nothing is off-limits. 

With ticket-sales imminent, the big night itself must be just around the corner. It’s where my best friend’s parents had their first date. It’s hosted acts like The Smiths, U2 and Charli XCX, and transformed Front Square into the festival of a lifetime. It is also where Jessie J had to stop singing to tell students they were too drunk. Ah, the magic of T-Ball! I’ve only attended once, but considering the event didn’t take place for two COVID-riddled years, that makes me a seasoned veteran. With that in mind, here are my predictions for the night to come – make of them what you will. 

1. Jedward will perform

If #Ents2theMax gets Jedward to headline T-Ball, it will be the best thing to happen to Trinity since Sally Rooney. Last year, a petition requesting that the duo perform and the event be renamed ‘J-Ball’ in their honour garnered over 700 signatures. Though the latter request seems unlikely, I’m crossing my fingers for the former. If not, perhaps the pair can crash the stage – if they can manage to get a ticket.

2. You will spend half the night queuing

First, to get in. It might take a while, but T-Ball queues are no normal queues. The eavesdropping of the entry line is unparalleled: listen closely and you’ll hear inebriated confessions, too-loud lore about the performers and drunken debriefs from prinks. Once inside, don’t suppose the queuing will stop – T-Ball is not a gift, you must work for it! Expect Sophie’s Choice level decisions over seeing an act or queuing for chips, and intense discussions over whether the Techno Tent is really worth the wait (it never is).

3. You will lose your friends… and find everyone else

In spite of attendance being reduced to 6,000 students this year, that is still a lot of people to have running (or, for those clad in heels, hobbling) over the cobblestones of Front Square, and cramming into a tent to catch a glimpse of the headliner. Though you might start the night among a group of mates, you are likely to split off at one point or another, lured by the sound of the Trinitones or Tinie Tempah. Beware! If you part from your pals, there is a high likelihood you will never find them again. Instead, you will come across every other person you have ever met in Dublin. You will likely keep bumping into vaguely recognisable faces from lectures, people you danced with once at Doyles, or even Linda Doyle herself – bonus points if you get a selfie with her, as my friend did last year. The beauty, or horror, of T-Ball is that no one really seems like a stranger, and no one really is, except maybe the undercover Garda and some rogue UCD students.

4. The anticipation will be just as good as the night itself

With any luck, this year Trinity Week will bring with it some good weather, and campus will be at its best. College Green full of overspill from the Pav, light streaming into the Arts Block rooms that do have windows and, in various areas of campus, the construction of stages commences. If you’re lucky enough to have a ticket in your possession, then seeing T-Ball come to fruition will cause great excitement. Conversations are sure to be dominated by what you’ll be wearing, drinking and watching. Because, at the end of the day, Trinity Ball is just a party; as always, the build up is the true main event. Chatting over your plans for the night and speculating wildly is almost as fun as the chaos of the evening, or at least that’s what I’ll be telling myself if I don’t manage to get a ticket.