The annual ball of Trinity’s brightest former second years took place on Friday 16th February. To summarise: it is excellent, cheap and fascinating. Joined by the boldest from St. John’s College Cambridge, and Oriel college Oxford, an attending scholar gets to traipse from pre-drinks to atrium, to hall, to atrium, to pre-drinks (again), to Farrier and Draper and if you’re one of the lucky ones – a kebab to finish. For the low low price of €35 (45 if you’re a plus one), this makes it both the cheapest and, I would argue, most enjoyable ball. 

The most prestigious undergraduate academic prize on the island of Ireland, Foundation Scholarship (Schols) examinations are tremendously hard work and require commitment, sacrifice and innate intelligence. Possessing exactly none of these things, I never even sat the exams. I toyed, like most of us, with the idea of it – even going as far as to sign up for them (as far as I can remember), but that particular gravy train never even left the station. When an opportunity to dip my toes in the shallow, cool pond of the world of scholars presented itself, I practically dived in headfirst. Attending Schols Ball felt like a helicopter ride up Kilimanjaro, and I love helicopters. 

The advantages to Schols are immense, and really begin to dawn on you when you’re in final year. I live with well known scholar/socialite David Wolfe (see 7th on Trinity Twenty), and before him lies the tantalising prospect of three continued years of Trinity based education – what fun! I jest, of course, the no-fee guarantee in tandem with the free food certainly sweetens the deal. David has the option to skirt off to the dining hall, be regaled with Latin and devour a freshly made meal every evening – whereas I am left with my third reheated wholewheat pasta dish of the week. Furthermore, the network of intelligentsia that you are introduced to upon getting Schols is an incredible opportunity to schmooze and get that sweet, sweet 500+ connections on LinkedIn I know you crave so deeply. 

One of the largest barriers to entry to this famed event is the tickets themselves, long cherished and hidden away, this isn’t like your average society show-your-csc-confirmation-email ball, oh no this is for scholars. To attain tickets to the ball, it requires a complex set of steps largely unbeknownst to the lay student. Listen closely and take note: text a scholar you know and ask to be their plus one. Alternatively, ask a scholar if they are using their ticket. The security at the event was incredibly lax and no one checked any of our tickets at any point, what I viewed as a great compliment – however others may feel possessing the resemblance of a scholar to be less so. 

Having successfully attained your ticket, your preparation must begin. What should you wear? Whose pre-drinks to attend? Where is it held? The answer to the first two questions are up to you, you’re an adult now and are well fit to make such decisions for yourself. As for the third, it is held between the atrium and dining hall. At the event last Friday, I was astonished at the range and availability of alcohol at every step of the journey. 

Approximately two desperados deep, and having little to no constitution, I was exuberant and excited before even entering the atrium (our destination for the organised scholar’s pre-drinks). Upon arrival, there was prosecco, white wine, red wine and even beer! Throughout the evening, the astonishing value of the ball was an ever-present boost to my mood. Here I was, wearing a bright yellow tuxedo, in the atrium, being handed more than one glass of alcohol, for the price of a badly-made pair of trainers – had my life truly peaked? 

Once finished with the pre-dinner reception, we were led into the gorgeous room that is the Dining Hall. I can admit, I honestly had never attended before. The large door always threw me off and I was worried I would interrupt some seance or Latin-conjured sacrifice. In the Hall there were around 20 long dining tables which was to be expected, but what did come as a shock was the flurry to find seats. Everyone got the option to submit seating plans previous to the event, but our stewarding scholar for the evening (David), was incredibly busy breaking news for Trinity News (a lesser known publication on campus) – and completely forgot. This, in addition to the fact none of us noticed the seating plan as we walked in, meant we were left apart for the remainder of the meal. I ended up sitting next to a very nice Cambridge PHD student from Strasbourg, with a 32-day streak on Duolingo. I saw it as a great opportunity to practise – on reflection she mightn’t have agreed. 

The meal itself was gorgeous and the staff friendly and welcoming. Part of me was slightly taken aback by the student Dining Hall staff; I remembered hearing a story of someone who sat Schols, didn’t get it and then worked that same evening serving the successful scholars their first meal – and I struggled to get this story out of my head at times. The evening was a great reminder of the rewards that come from such hard work, the work that is required to achieve the foundation scholarship (work I did not do). But as with a number of my friends who didn’t receive the award but fully deserved to do so it is important to remember, like with anything, people are always left behind. 

Before our first course, Cormac (LLM), bellowed out a Latin verse or three. The number of pre-dinner Latin recitals I have heard amounts to less than 3, but Cormacs was definitely in the top 2. He later told me the secret was it “has to come from the belly”; sage, scholarly advice. The dining hall served as both a fitting, practical and lovely venue. The large wood panels accentuated the softer evening lighting and the striking portraits gazed supportively at their peers, and stared in disbelief at those attending somewhat illegitimately (guilty). A particular larger-than-life portrait of Mary Robinson kept looking at me, noticeably during my main course, I wondered what I had done wrong and refused to make eye-contact thereafter. 

After the meal, there was a Jazz band in the atrium along with more drinking, but certainly not enough dancing to accompany their great sway. Following this the night became one. There isn’t much I have to comment on the running of the after dinner events other than to say it was all exceptionally well organised and very enjoyable. Farrier and Draper’s DJ played some great remixes of early 2010s classics, not the kind of classical many of the scholars are used to I imagine. I finished the night with a kebab from Reyna, more specifically a Chicken kebab bowl with garlic sauce and fries as the base (strongly recommend). 

Scholar’s ball was a lot of fun, and I would recommend it to anyone. I met a great number of interesting people (notably Sean from West Cork), had some lovely food and availed of the free drink to an extent that bordered on inappropriate. If you get the opportunity to attend, I wholeheartedly recommend, both to peer over the garden wall into the lives of those more determined and as an opportunity to experience one of the more unique balls available in Trinity.